How To Develop Your Child's Love of Learning Without Nagging, Worry or Anxiety

Over the course of my parenting, I've heard many concerns from parents about developing their child's love of learning. Most were wondering whether it was even possible to instill such a thing, and if it was, how? Others wanted to know whether it was an inborn quality some lucky individuals were born with. When I've reflected on my own five kids, myself, and other children I've taught and worked with over the years, I've come to the conclusions I will enumerate for you below. But before I do, I've want to take a moment to express my personal conviction that children can be taught anything!-Even to love to learn. It's all in how we present it to them.

Child's Learning Style

It is important to find out your child's learning style before you start anything else. Delivering information in a manner geared to their learning style determines whether they find it fun, engaging, easy to absorbs and therefore develops their love of learning. You've probably heard of the three basic learning styles: visual, auditory and tactile. Within that there are, of course, also subcategories of social vs. solitary learners, etc. My five children are perfect examples of each, plus combinations of several! My oldest is definitely both a tactile and auditory learner. He loves to work alone. My daughter is a social-visual learner, my next son is an auditory wiggly worm (it is easier for him to be hanging upside down then to sit on a chair), and the twins, visual collaborators. Imagine our family activity nights!

Child's Interests

Another important secret to success is observing your child's interests and using those to teach and pass on information. Incorporate whatever they're interested in into every subject you can. This is the fun part as you get to be creative! Yoohoo! It's natural to pay attention to things that interest us. As a young child, my third son (even as a baby) had an obsession with cars, trucks and anything that had wheels and engines. If I wanted to get his attention I had to speak 'mechanics'. All our poetry, reading, math, etc. revolved around some sort of vehicle.

Feed Curiosity

When you detect their curiosity for something, do all in your power to encourage it, even if that particular thing is not your favorite or even grosses you out. Don't worry if you don't know much about it, as a matter of fact, it is so much funner when you discover it together! Don't hide your amazement and delight at your joint discoveries of things you didn't know about. If he/she takes interest in bugs look up videos of bugs! Learn about their babies, watch them in their natural environment, create a terrarium, feed them, watch them interact...Children are naturally curious, use it!

Make It Into a Game

'Games and playing' is an official job description for a child! Use that to teach them (climbing up the stairs we make sounds like a piano "do-re-mi", or use the steps to count by 1s, 2s, 5s etc.), make up rhymes for everyday things that you do most often (tooth brushing, hand washing, putting things away...), make-believe (imagine a kingdom and you are a king/queen,...), pretend-play (while putting our coats and shoes away let's see who is a superhero). Use your imagination while putting yourself on your child's level and imagining what would be fun for him/her.

Use Every Opportunity to Teach Something 

When you are at home and you see it raining outside tell him/her about why plants need rain, explain why we need sleep when you are helping them get ready for bed, when at the supermarket have a conversation about measures, healthy food, bulk shopping...

Rewards and Encouragement

Be generous with your praise and encouragement, the children thrive on it. You teach them by what you do, you also teach them by what you don't do, but you especially teach them by how you react to what they do! There's always something you can praise your child for in any assignment he/she undertakes. It tells them loud and clear, "I am capable! I do this right! Mommy, or Daddy, said so!"

Make Your Audience Want More

Be careful not to wear them out with any one activity or with learning one thing. You know how you can hardly wait for that next episode when the last one stopped on a cliff hanger? Be the director of a child's 'activity cliff hangers'! End it right before they've had enough, let them beg you for that math problem the next day, science project, or a home economics class. This will help them associate learning with excitement and the anticipation of fun and joy! Do, however, avoid any of these activities if your child is extra sensitive that particular day, for whatever reason-not enough sleep the night before, teething, not feeling well,etc. We all have days when we are not feeling as good as on other days, not pushing learning on them on those days will make for more agreeable and willing learners on the days when they are happy and will ensure that they do not feel that information is being forced on them.

Correcting the Mistakes without Correcting Mistakes 

This is a subtle way of correcting the child's mistake in their speech, writing, expressing, or anything else without them even realizing they've been corrected. Simply reinforce the right word, enunciation, etc by repeating it the correct way without drawing too much attention to the 'mistake'. Their self-esteem and the feelings of confidence are the most important! If they feel like they can't fail they'll try anything!

Let Him/Her Try It Him/Herself

The best learning is done when we try it by ourselves, whether it be writing, drawing, or a science experiment! Once we attempt it we get to see how easy or how hard it can be and what we could do differently to make it better. Help them succeed, especially if you see it is not going right for them. If they don't succeed they'll give up, and assume that that activity isn't any fun.

Extra Energetic Kids

My sons have always had high energy levels. Before I am able to get them to pay attention to anything, I have to have the do some vigorous exercises to get their heart rates going, blowing some of that pent up energy off and then they're easy as docile children with incredibly inquisitive minds.

Provide an Environment Conducive to Learning

It's important to get rid of distractions in order to do your 'learning fun and games' with them. If you have a TV on, several people in the next room talking or doing something else "fun", or a variety of toys strewn all over the floor, it's a safe bet your child will not be focusing on what you're trying to do/say. Create a space, and time when you can focus your attention on a project and enjoy it together.

Don't Allow Pointless Mind Wasters

There's been lots said lately about technology and how it draws children in. I believe every era has its pros and cons and that we should embrace technology. However, I also believe that leaving children with their electronic devices or encouraging them to use technology just to get them out of their parent's hair can be counterproductive and produce children uninterested in learning, doing activities (unless it's online games and TV shows). All interactions with technology should be targeted and very carefully chosen for the ages 0-5, with every year till 14 years of age adding a new feature. This way, they learn to use it to their educational benefit, and also for pleasure. My 14 year olds chose of their own free will not to hang out on social media. My 21 year old saw how much of her time was consumed on FB and stopped using it-instead she prefers to use her time to read.


I have tried to stick to the points above as much as I was possibly been able to over the years. Have I always got it right? No, not by far! Are my children life-long learners? I would like to think so! My oldest finds new areas of his interests and sticks with it until he masters the skill, then he is off to the new thing. My daughter is interested in psychology and how human brain works, I've only needed to direct her and she's off researching, learning, finding out new things daily. The third child has just now discovered cooking and loves it. He surprises us with new meals regularly. The twins are fascinated by coding, ethical hacking and all sorts of scientific experiments. I have to admit, I am enjoying learning alongside them more than I've ever enjoyed learning before!

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