Let me ask you this: would you rather
slap your house together, not dig deep to build the proper foundation
just so you could save effort and have more time for yourself only to
see your house collapse a few years later? Or would you rather spend
time, money and effort making it wholesome and long lasting?
Would you rather put in the extra
money, effort, and time into fixing your car so it can run smoothly
and safely for quite a few years? Or would you rather not bother and
end up not being able to start it when you need it most, or worse, in
an accident?
How about investing time and effort
into learning, business, friendships, cooking, dressing, health?
Would you rather settle for the immediate results and suffer in the
long run?
Would you rather enjoy one to two hours
a day of freedom now for five, six, maybe seven years if you are
lucky and then cry for the rest of your life? Or would you rather put
the effort in for those first five, six formative years and enjoy the
fruits of your labor later?
Yes, I am talking about kids! I am
talking about spending the precious little time you have with them. I
am talking about reading to them, playing with them, cuddling with
them. I am talking about listening to them, being present! I am
talking about long term rewards and I am talking about investing now!
If you choose the immediate rewards
over long term gain here are the babysitting helpers you should
engage:
- TV-the most reliable babysitter. You will get yourself hours of free time to kick back and relax, sip wine slowly, or do household chores. Employ it on regular basis and eventually stop giving a damn about what they watch as long as they leave you alone.
- Mobile phone-buy your child a mobile phone as soon as you hear him/her cry, whine, or protest in any way. If you are unable to buy them a phone right now, take out a loan. If that is not possible then just plop your phone in his/her hands and take a deep breath.
- Games-mobile games, computer games, baby games, tablet games, any type of game that doesn't require participation from you in any way shape or form. Plop the child in front of it, show her/him how it's done and scram. Enjoy your freedom! Enjoy the free time you bought so cheaply and easily!
- Toys-the best babysitting assistant toys are the ones that exclude any participation on your end. Toys like car garages, dolls and babies…if they would invent a robot to set it up for your child and play with them it would be fantastic! You should be the first in line to buy it! It would save you days, months of your precious free time!
- Other people-if all else fails, then find someone willing to watch your child while you get a breather. The less involvement from that person the better. As long as your child is clean, dry, warm, and fed the rest is irrelevant!
The reality is
that if you do engage these babysitters on regular basis you will
regret it in a long and painfully slow process.
I get to see a lot of parents on a
regular basis who are tired, drained, and visionless when it comes to
investing time and effort into raising their kids right. Several
years down the line, they start to wonder what happened. How are they
not able to reach their child? How come he/she is not listening? How
did they end up in this mess?
The truth is children don't need
much! A bedtime story, an hour or so to play, draw, cook, or dance
together. Even if it seems like you have no energy left now, you will
be grateful you did it years down the line. Be that parent who spends
time with his/her child. Be that obnoxious parent who takes their
child for a bike ride, a run in the park, or play time at the
playground. Even though it seems like too much now, you will be glad
you did it when you see how stable, full of self-esteem and happy
your child is. When other parents start commenting that there is
something different about your child, when teachers praise your child
for being the most reliable, when your parents are happy to spend the
day with them, you will be thankful for every moment of your waning
energy you invested into playing those games, reading those stories,
and singing those songs.
DISCLAIMER: I am aware of the fact that
we do need free time, and we need to get to the chores, housework,
our jobs, and even have some time for ourselves. I am not talking
about the occasional use of the above mentioned babysitters. I am
talking about regularly relying on them. You should determine what
regular and what occasional are for you – once a week, once a
month, or…
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